First of all:

...I have to write

Since my childhood, my dream was to make others read what I write ,to share with them my thoughts and my feelings, and all what crosses my mind. Not because I think It is important but because I think It will fun. 

I am a private person, I don't share too much. I have just few, very few close friends. I am awkward  socially. People either think I am  too shy or too arrogant. But the real me that it hidden in multiple layers of precautions (that I kept for a long time sacred). I will share it with you here in my live diary.
My story may be the most extraordinary for some, while the others will think it to be just a normal one, may be less than the average among the billions of stories of people who lived, live and will live on this Earth.
At the end, when I will disappear from this world, I will be sure that I shared my feelings with some ,individuals  of my specie. my fantasies and my worries....
I will able to let some print here...This is m biggest worry:to disappear when my physical isn't more here...